Eating my words

A lot of people see me as a know-it-all. I just like offering solutions instead of running from problems. I have my own feats to overcome, and it hasn’t been easy. My mantra has been: redirection = protection. I’ve been learning not to take every punch to the gut and to flow with more groundedness when something shakes my foundation.

I applied to be a flight attendant because I felt that was the best option for me. If not, I would’ve had to settle and pick a state. I would’ve been traveling, fully in a nomadic state—PERFECT. I wouldn’t have had to focus on building a home or anything, just floating in the sky like a bird, knowing everything is temporary.

I WAS SO SURE I HAD THE JOB. I did the orientation, group interview, and one-on-one. I walked into my one-on-one interview asking when training would be held. By the end, the recruiter asked if I had any other questions, and I said, “Is there anything I need to know or should work on from now on?” She told me to continue my research and to check my emails frequently—because during the recruiting process, you get a bunch of emails from background, HR, trainers, etc. She even said, “Hope to see you soon.”

I felt I had the job. I knew I’d be moving on to the next stage. Then I check my emails like I always do, and I see a message from the airline informing me that I didn’t make it to the next stage and that I could reapply in six months.

This was my final chance at becoming a flight attendant. The portal only opens for so long. I applied to four companies total. One automatically rejected me because I have a tattoo. Two rejected me for reasons unbeknownst to me. My last one—the one I had as a backup—I was so close… just to get denied again.

I know I’m going to put this passport to use. I just don’t know how yet. I wouldn’t want to stay in Alaska for the winter—I keep a heater on in the summer. So I need to plan properly. This is a test of faith. And even still, I know my fate is positive. I keep hearing how prosperous I will be, and I make gold with what I have. So I’m embracing the unknown and moving with full confidence that I will succeed.

As I stood in the mirror last night, I envisioned what life could look like a year from now. I hoped that I’d be able to look back at this moment and thank every airline for rejecting me. I saw myself in peace—wealthy in spirit and wealthy in finances.

Alaska taught me a lot. The more I questioned whether I wanted to stay or not, the clearer it became—I need to start over in a busier city with more opportunities. I’ll have to tap into all my abilities and talents to create the life I want. I can be a ghost if I want to—no one knows me. I’m calmer now, more balanced in my approach, and I’m dying to make a name for myself. I want it. I deserve it. I deserve recognition for my work.

Alaska is cut off from everything. But it gave me a reboot—a reset on myself—and it created more discipline in me. I’m curious to see how much changes from now until the end of the season, which is in September. I have a few places in mind, and I’ll start doing my research.

Somewhere hot, lively, and with a vast amount of opportunitie$.